I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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