I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Randomize
