You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
