Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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