god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
this will be a night to untag.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
