It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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