the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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