I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
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Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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