After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
