I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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