my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize