He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
