I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
