Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I can't turn off my feet"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Randomize
