Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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