Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Enjoy the penises
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
