I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
