Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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