Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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