Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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