Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
