pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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