fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
