I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you traded sex for a burrito?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
