Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
