Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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