you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You are the jesus of drinking
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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