Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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