Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Randomize
