Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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