I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I look better un-naked...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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