Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
