My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my vag is so smooth its legendary
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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