I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
