I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize