college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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