Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
