yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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