only if we run a train.
done.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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