Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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