i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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