the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
