Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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