Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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