Can i not drive my cunt home
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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