If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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