Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
