mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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