Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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