so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
