omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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