Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
