It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
