I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
