DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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