ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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