remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
