First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
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I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
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She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
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