I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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