I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
