I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Randomize
