Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
bring money and cleavage
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
