I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
