It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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