Porn is love you can see.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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