I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Randomize
