Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We left an ass print on the piano.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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